Inner space counselling centre

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Feeling of not being Wanted

“Suruchi nobody wants me, nobody likes me,” a friend of mine Jyoti called me in the morning and said. She was crying and wailing. She felt that she was left out when the group of friends met and had fun. She felt no one noticed her presence or her absence. This made her sulk more. More she sulked, more people distanced away from her. The irony, isn’t it?

Well, this feeling of not being a part of the group or not being wanted or being left out is very common. Each one of us has experienced this some time or other. We all want to be liked, loved and needed. But in our this need to be liked, we get clingy, some of us get aloof, some of us start behaving strangely.

What is needed is to start having fun on your own. Start enjoying your company. If people see you having fun, they would want to join you. Take responsibility for your happiness. When friends get out to have fun, all they want to have is fun. It’s not your friends' job to keep you entertained. If you sulk, they would resist you.

Try to enjoy your own company. Don’t be sarcastic about being left out. Try to be part of the group. Smile. Listen. Talk. Always remember one thing, if they did not like you, they wouldn’t have brought you along. Don’t try to listen to what’s not said. Don’t overthink at all, just flow with the flow. Friendship is always about give and take. Love is always about reciprocating. It’s never about wants and needs. 

Just be yourself. You are unique. Hug yourself a lot. Love your own company and think of having fun. Don’t be ever be afraid to be alone. Accept it that even if you are alone, you are happy. Then the need and desperation would not be there. When the need is not there, all falls in place. A quote goes “if you run after a butterfly, you will never get it. But if you sit calmly at one place, the butterfly will come and sit on your shoulder.” Same is with people.

The Person who is happy inside out radiates happiness always. He/she is always wanted and liked by others.

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