Inner space counselling centre

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Emotional Blackmail

Men used to always say “Women emotionally blackmail us with their tears.” And it used to be true for years, to get what they wanted women used to use tears. But that was kind of harmless. But what is thought worthy is, are you made to feel guilty about your choices? Are you pushed into doing things, which you otherwise wouldn’t want to do? Do you often hear statements like “If you really love me, you will do this for me. “ or “I have done so much for you, can’t you do this much also for me.” You are being emotionally blackmailed by people who are closest to you, intentionally or unintentionally. The people who emotionally blackmail us can be our partner, friend, parent, our child, or a colleague. They feel insecure and so want to control us and are desperate to get us to do what they want. These people take you on a guilt trip.

They know we want them to be happy and we care a lot about them. They want you to take responsibility for their happiness. They know they can manipulate you
and your emotions because they are very close to you and you value them and their relationship. We allow emotional blackmail to happen to us because of our
intense desire to be loved, accepted and appreciated by others. When we seek validation, we give away our power to others who know how to use it for their
own good. The relationship becomes too demanding when you are emotionally blackmailed.
Acceptance is very important, when you realize you are being emotionally blackmailed. Once you accept, you can learn to say a kind but a firm ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do. Set boundaries in a relationship. Know at all times what is acceptable and what is not. And most importantly, refuse to take other people’s emotional well being responsibility.

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