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Inner space counselling centre

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Guilt of hurting someone we love

How many of us have guilts buried somewhere deep in our hearts; the guilt of hurting someone. Yes, it was a mistake that went against the grain of what it is to be a loving or honest person. Chalk it up to emotional immaturity at that time, being selfish, letting your anger get the best of you or somehow thinking that the person deserved it. 

Your power to heal lies in your acceptance of the fact that you did what you did for no other reason than you chose to do it. This is the hardest bit is the most liberating part. Once you accept it, letting go off guilt gets easier.

Deep down you know you’re a better person than this, but right now after such a long time also it feels you are the worst person in the world. And you have no idea, when will you be able to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is much harder than forgiving someone else because you are stuck with that negative little voice in your head. You have all the right in the world to feel disappointed because you have hurt someone, but also know one mistake does not define you.  Be patient with yourself and keep loving yourself. Don’t rush yourself to get into a positive zone. Perfection is a myth. Everyone makes mistake,  Practice forgiving others genuinely and also giving them benefit of doubt. This will help you have compassion for yourself too. 

We ought to remember mistakes help us evolve into better people. “Owning up our mistake” is such an important step in getting over the guilt. We generally use denial to protect ourselves from guilt. While it is comfortable to believe, we haven’t done anything wrong, it never helps the situation. Ask for an apology but don’t pressure or demand forgiveness from them right away or even ever. If you have done what you can to make amends and the other person still needs space and time to forgive you, let them have it, you can forgive yourself and move on. 

You can’t go back and change the past, so there’s no point in obsessing over it. Don’t deny yourself the freedom of forgiveness. You have full right to stick on to your guilt for a lifetime and be its prisoner. But you also have a choice to let the guilt go by accepting it completely and learning from the mistake.

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